Geographically Challenged

Once upon a time I kept very tidy journals. I had a perfect pen in the perfect shade of blue black; sadly, one day, this pen ran out. Now this pen was from Hungary and I was in America, so I could not replace my perfect pen. And, as I could never write in my tidy journals with any ordinary blue or black pen, I was forced to move to make-shift notebooks and countless scraps of notebook paper. It was my hope that these mediums would serve merely as repository journals till I could obtain another perfect pen, upon which time I would transpose all my thoughts back to my tidy journal in my perfect shade of blue black ink. Well, that was almost 5 years ago and my perfect pen and I still haven't found each other.

So recently I decided to just move everything to my laptop. And that is how I came to discover how very hard it must be sometimes for my Mensa sister-in-law (holla Lori) to hang out with me and my brother, whom she loves dearly (you can read about them and my lovely niece Lucy here).

I remember the below exchanges quite well, but didn't realize they happened the same exact day or that they both had to do with mine and my brother's geographic prowess till I started gathering up my journal bits!

January 16, 2006

Morning
Lori and I went shopping and I was wearing a shirt that said Sri Lanka on it. I went into an Old Navy dressing room and had the following conversation.

Old Navy guy (looking at my shirt): I want to go there.
Leah: Yea, me too!
Old Navy guy: You wanna go? Let’s leave tonight.
Leah (delighted): Okay! Do you know how to get there?
Old Navy guy: We could figure it out.

I was completely enchanted by this conversation, which I felt was extremely clever and whimsical. I went and told it to Lori, who said:

Lori: Did you tell him you’ve been there?
Leah (shocked and slightly confused): I’ve never been there.
Lori: You haven’t?
Leah (bemused): No; it’s a mythical place; nobody’s been there.
Lori: Sri Lanka’s a real place!

Leah: .................................................
(light dawning): SHANGRI LA! …………

(rethinking conversation with Old Navy guy) Oh no!

pic of Sri Lanka, which looks pretty magical!

Night
Later that evening Bryan, Lori, and I were watching The Bachelor Paris. The bachelor was having a one on one date with one of the girls. He called her mom to find out what her favorite food was. It was Italian.

Bryan: That’s good considering where they are.
Lori: They’re not in Italy.
Bryan: Right…no…I know.
Lori: Bryan, where is Paris?
Bryan: Rome…?
Lori and Me (which in light of the above is somewhat laughable): WHAT?!
Bryan: No, no…I mean…
Lori: Bryan, WHERE is Paris?!
Bryan: Spain….??
Lori: BRYAN!
Bryan: No, no….
Lori: FRANCE! PARIS, FRANCE!
Bryan: I know that. I was just having brain freeze. I know it’s in France. “Oui” that’s French. “Bonjoir” that’s French. I know Paris is in France…………………………..I’m just foggy. I drank most of that wine by myself.

"Sacre bleu! What do they teach these kids in school?"