Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Australia, how I love thee...

I'm in Australia (Newcastle to be specific; lower right-hand side).

I'm really wishing I had one of my euphoria pills, and that I didn't possess any of the scruples that would prevent me from using it simply for it's side effects. (In case you haven't read my April 14 and 15 post, I'm not a total drug head; there is a completely innocent explanation.) My longing for said euphoria pill has nothing to do with a lack of euphoria; I'm more naturally euphoric than I have been in years . . . well, probably since the last time I was in Australia (summer 2005). I really just want that marvellously prolific-writing side effect the pill induced, because I’m chock full of thoughts and impressions and experiences, but not the focus or motivation to get them out.

I absolutely love Australia and for so many reasons. They get all jumbled in my head and trip and tangle up in each other when I try to think them out. I never use to really think that much about Australia. England was always my obsession. (And still is to a great degree), but Australia completely surprised and enchanted me the first time I came.

It's so familiar in many ways. While we aren't the same culture, we are more alike than not, and the differences are fascinating and fun. It fools you by making you feel settled in and on familiar ground, and then it totally surprises you with how unique it is. I love that. Each morning I get woken up by magpies with their
fascinating calls. The trees, many of which we don't have in the Northern hemisphere, are full of parrots. Parrots! Like the serious kind. The red and blue headed kind. There's a pair that whistle and gibberish to each other each morning outside my window.



Flocks of cockatoos fly over, and there have been two black cockatoos, which are huge, sitting up in Katrina's tree breaking off limbs with their beaks. Limbs, not twigs, limbs. When they first flew up on Friday Katrina said, "Do you hear them? Don't they sound prehistoric?" I imagine they sound roughly like what a pterodactyl probably sounded like.

I love it; I love the familiarity, while simultaneously being shocked by how unfamiliar and wild it is. And we aren't even in the outback, just the suburbs, the wild Australian suburbs.

(so the above photos are all stolen, of course. i only just got my luggage this afternoon after waiting for SIX days, but hopefully i can get some real shots soon.)

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Copyright Infringment

I was going to upload these to facebook but it asks you, do you have the right to these, and so I chickened out, because I don't. As if the big words across the center of each picture wouldn't give that away! Not that it's any more legal here, but at least blogspot doesn't ask.



But anyway, these are from my horse riding competition from June. I was in two classes. I won the first and lost the second. The horse I was riding, Bingo, went a bit crazy right after this. And I totally lost control during the second class. He was afraid of the people standing on the outside of the arena. He's also afraid, terrified actually, of donkeys. I am given to phobias myself, so I have nothing but sympathy for him.



He looks so alert, so ready for anything, and he is, he's ready to run like the wind should any donkeys, random people, scarves blowing in the wind, or any thing else he deems a potential threat come his way.

In fact we were supposed to go from here to stand by the judges in front of a big wreath and have pictures, but he was sure the flowers all clustered together like that were definitely up to no good and so he did what any sensible horse would do, prance and dance and snort, so we just did our victory lap and got the heck out of there.


Note the blue ribbon, blowing in the wind. Ah, if only the day had stopped right here, and there hadn't been the debacle that followed. It was full of yelling (by my teachers), confusion (me and Bingo), snorting and fear (mostly Bingo but a little bit me), and the vaproizing of my dreams of representin' in the next Olympics!

He is gorgeous though!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Memories of a Five Speed

So I recently test drove a 5-speed for Rachel and Jared. There was quite a mishap with one of her dad's ATV's a few weeks ago at SawGrass, involving a very spectacular fire: Until... so to replace the ATV they got him a Suzuki Sidekick: A Sidekick for a Four-Wheeler. On our way to test drive it I gave my brother a quick call, "So can you just remind me how to drive a standard." His reply, "Lord help them if you're the pro at this!" Anyway, all this got me to reminiscing....

It was a cold, rainy Sunday afternoon, January 2003. I was living in Sugarland, Texas with the delightful Copelins and working with Karen. I had exactly one evening to learn to drive a standard before I was to be let loose on the roads of Sugarland, with its stoplights and stop signs every .2 cm. There are really no words to adequately describe this period in my life so I’ll just give snippets of memories.

This is kind of what Jane-with-a-Y looked like.



Lurching (literally, lurching) my way to work. I rode with my hazards on at all times and basically just whacked my head over and over again against the head rest as I tried to navigate all the stops between me and my destination. I was frequently stalled beneath a stoplight; hazards flashing, hands clutching the steering wheel, screaming in furry and frustration at the top of my lungs.

Lurching my way into a parking spot outside Julie’s apartment, and then upon going in, seeing her doubled over laughing, “I could hear you coming!”

Stalling out about ten times as I tried to exit the Copelin’s driveway, and then Wayne coming out the front door holding a set of keys saying, “ Stop, stop. Take my car.”

Going with Wayne to pick up the car from Bravo’s (a fine Mexican establishment we frequented) to jumper cable the car after I had left the lights on the night before. And after getting back to the house him saying, “Just wait here and I’ll have you follow me to drop off my car to be washed.” I got out and thought to myself, “Do I have to pull the emergency break or is it fine in neutral...no I think I can just leave it in neutral.” Then watching as the car rolled down the driveway towards the trees and mailbox of the house opposite, seeing out of the corner of my eye as Karen came out of the house, took in what was happening, and immediately went back in as Wayne ran after the car. (Luckily, surprisingly, thankfully, nothing was hurt: man, car, tree, or mailbox!)

Ah Jayne (pronounced Jane-with-a-Y) we had some grand times!

(sidenote: As an ex-editor and fill-in copyeditor, I am aware that my tenses and voice are all over the map up there. It annoys me, but the work of sorting it all out would annoy me even more! So to those who know about these things or notice these things, I am profoundly sorry!)

I don't have any actual pictures of me driving the car so I'll just put up some of the Copelin girls that I have on my computer here. They crack me up.




Me (age 18) Julie (age 17) On a bus, who knows where!



Jeni and me, totally winning at cards!


(Jeni, Julie, Me) My 3oth birthday skydive!




Sunday, May 3, 2009

Geographically Challenged

Once upon a time I kept very tidy journals. I had a perfect pen in the perfect shade of blue black; sadly, one day, this pen ran out. Now this pen was from Hungary and I was in America, so I could not replace my perfect pen. And, as I could never write in my tidy journals with any ordinary blue or black pen, I was forced to move to make-shift notebooks and countless scraps of notebook paper. It was my hope that these mediums would serve merely as repository journals till I could obtain another perfect pen, upon which time I would transpose all my thoughts back to my tidy journal in my perfect shade of blue black ink. Well, that was almost 5 years ago and my perfect pen and I still haven't found each other.

So recently I decided to just move everything to my laptop. And that is how I came to discover how very hard it must be sometimes for my Mensa sister-in-law (holla Lori) to hang out with me and my brother, whom she loves dearly (you can read about them and my lovely niece Lucy here).

I remember the below exchanges quite well, but didn't realize they happened the same exact day or that they both had to do with mine and my brother's geographic prowess till I started gathering up my journal bits!

January 16, 2006
Morning
Lori and I went shopping and I was wearing a shirt that said Sri Lanka on it. I went into an Old Navy dressing room and had the following conversation.

Old Navy guy (looking at my shirt): I want to go there.
Leah: Yea, me too!
Old Navy guy: You wanna go? Let’s leave tonight.
Leah (delighted): Okay! Do you know how to get there?
Old Navy guy: We could figure it out.

I was completely enchanted by this conversation, which I felt was extremely clever and whimsical. I went and told it to Lori, who said:

Lori: Did you tell him you’ve been there?
Leah (shocked and slightly confused): I’ve never been there.
Lori: You haven’t?
Leah (bemused): No; it’s a mythical place; nobody’s been there.
Lori: Sri Lanka’s a real place!
Leah: .................................................
(light dawning): SHANGRI LA! …………
(rethinking conversation with Old Navy guy) Oh no!

pic of Sri Lanka, which looks pretty magical!

Night
Later that evening Bryan, Lori, and I were watching The Bachelor Paris. The bachelor was having a one on one date with one of the girls. He called her mom to find out what her favorite food was. It was Italian.

Bryan: That’s good considering where they are.
Lori: They’re not in Italy.
Bryan: Right…no…I know.
Lori: Bryan, where is Paris?
Bryan: Rome…?
Lori and Me (which in light of the above is somewhat laughable): WHAT?!
Bryan: No, no…I mean…
Lori: Bryan, WHERE is Paris?!
Bryan: Spain….??
Lori: BRYAN!
Bryan: No, no….
Lori: FRANCE! PARIS, FRANCE!
Bryan: I know that. I was just having brain freeze. I know it’s in France. “Oui” that’s French. “Bonjoir” that’s French. I know Paris is in France…………………………..I’m just foggy. I drank most of that wine by myself.

"Sacre bleu! What do they teach these kids in school?"

Thursday, April 30, 2009

My Friends are Funny!

I feel incredibly fortunate to have so many truly clever and eccentric people in my life. It makes this journey so much more interesting. Here is a brief dialogue from my recent time in Tulsa with my delightful Gilmore-witty-esque friend Jeni Copelin.

Jeni (to me): I have a haircut at 1:45, help me remember.
Me: Okay, but you know I can't remember things either.
Jeni: I know.
Julie (Jeni's aunt): Write it on your hand.
Jeni: Yea, I'll write a little note in marker. Oh, I'll draw a line for a hair. When I look at it I'll wonder, "Why do I have a line on my hand? Oh yea, it's a hair. Why do I have a hair? Right, I have a haircut." And I'll put a 10 by it, because 1 plus 4 plus 5 is 10.
Julie (sarcastically): that makes sense
Jeni: I don't want everyone knowing my plans.

We took almost no pics while I was there and as I feel most blog entries should have at least one pic I'm including these from our fav Gilmore Girl epi.

I want to go to a secret gauzy tent party in the forest!

And I REALLY want to jump off a tall scafoldy thing with an umbrella...

while wearing a fancy dress!


(photos of Season 5, Episode 7 You Jump, I Jump, Jack)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A Tale of Two Drugs

I have some new insight into why my last blog and all my facebooking on Tuesday came so effortlessly, in fact, so joyously. There was nothing in the world I wanted to do more than write, chat, muse. Already I’m finding the writing of this blog and subsequent replies to all my Tuesday correspondence a bit harder. It isn’t in the least that I don’t want to communicate, I do, but with a chemical free brain I just find it so much harder.

So I posted that I was given a new pain pill to replace my old marvelous one that made me totally pain free typically in one dose, occasionally two. The new one I got did not work nearly so well. I took the first one at 1 AM, after which I never went back to sleep. It lowered the pain enough to survive, but didn’t get rid of it, at all. However I did feel mentally very on. And this is why:

Side effects
Commonly reported side effects for butalbital include:

  • Dizziness

  • Drowsiness

  • Intoxicated feeling

  • Light-headedness

  • Euphoria

  • Addiction

  • Severe impairment of judgement

I’d again like to highlight the two that really made Tuesday special: Intoxicated feeling and Euphoria, which translated into a most delightful time spent on the computer and watching TV. Usually if I watch TV for too many hours in a row I start feeling depressed. Many people have thought this quirk insane, but it’s true. However Tuesday I actually commented to myself, “I’m in pain, but I feel great. I could watch TV all day. I could watch TV and write emails ALL DAY!”

The bottle said not to exceed 6 pills in 24 hours. Well in 12 hours I’d had 7 (this could have been the "severe impairment of judgement" side effect kicking in). I was having a very hard time walking straight, speaking coherently, or putting my glasses on without poking my eye out. I called the pharmacist to discuss the dosing.

Me: I just need to know how serious this don’t exceed clause is?
Pharmacist: Quite serious.
Me: But I’ve had the max dose and there are a great many hours till I can go to the doctor tomorrow. When this wears off I’m going to be in serious pain, emergency room pain.
Pharmacist: If you exceed the dosage you will be in the emergency room.
Me: ....
Pharmacist: I suggested you go ahead and go to the emergency room now.
Me: ....I’ve been awake since 1 AM; it has no bearing on anything, I just feel the need to say that.
Pharmacist: I think you should go to the emergency room.

He was very lovely.

Rachel called me on her way home from work and I broke the news that I might need her to take me to the emergency room. It should be stated that it was also Jared (her husband’s) birthday. She, without hesitation, agreed. They are both very, very good roommates!

We chose an urgent care place over an emergency room. I think it was a good call. I took my old empty bottle of pills that used to work and my new full bottle of pills that didn’t work, at least not in the way I needed them to.

Nurse: This old medicine was for stomach pain, ulcers, etc. This new one is for headaches and it has caffeine.
Me (light dawning): I’ve been awake since 1 AM.
Nurse: I don’t want to speak badly about another doctor...but...
Me: I’ve been awake since 1 AM

(I’ve never fully understood why you have to tell your story twice. Once to the nurse who you think is maybe the doc, and who after you’ve poured out your heart and feel somewhat connected to, says, “Okay, the doctor will be in in a few.” Then you have to tell it all over again. I’m usual tired the second go round and leave stuff out.)

Doctor: So what’s going on with you?
Me: My stomach hurts and I’ve been awake since 1 AM.
Doctor: This medicine is for headaches and it has caffeine.
Me: I know.
Doctor: I don’t want to speak badly about another doctor...but...
Me: I know.
Doctor: Here is a prescription for a pain pill that’s actually for your stomach.
Me: I’m so tired.
Doctor (patting me on the knee): This will help.

And it did. The new, new drug works WAY better; but I must be honest, while I don’t miss the pain or insomnia, I do miss the euphoria; that was nice.

p.s. I will be making an appointment with a GI doctor very soon...and I promise not to blog about it.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Non-readers Beware

It's 2:42 A.M.; I'm awake and my mind is roaming wide plains of thought, and so I anticipate a wildly stream-of-conscious blog. The first roam being that the use of pen and paper has become, in my life, highly obsolete, resulting in an odd clenching of my entire arm and hand as I write. I have an absolute death grip on this pen. And yes that means this was first a hand written blog entry, because its 2:44 A.M. and I've heard that the light from a computer, much like that of a TV and hand-held video game (another option I considered), interrupts the cardia rhythm, which is entirely the wrong term. But word on the insomnia street is that those lights are decidedly bad for inducing sleep.

The reason I'm awake at this awful hour is because my stomach is killing me, and by stomach I don't mean the euphemismly vague catch all term of stomach, but the actual organ located here (I did write that on paper in anticipation of a google image search):


I had/have (?) H.pylori. You can get it in America, but my stomach pain seems to date back to sometime after a trip to Mexico (94 or 95 ?). And it's pretty much the worst pain in the world (at least my world) and I've had malaria.

It's panic-inducing pain; a pain that I've always been certain ought to kill me. I've thought, one can't be in this much pain and continue to be alive. At its worst it feels like a creature, made of fire, trying to eat it's way out of my stomach (yes, think Aliens). I actually passed out a couple of times, but I think I was just hyperventilating.

I saw an ER epi once about a severely burned guy. His breathing got really odd and the docs ran around trying to figure out what was wrong and toyed with the idea of intubating (any ER fans notice how in every epi at least one patient was intubated?). (Okay, I've no idea if that's actually how the scene played out, but I'm going with it.) My memory is vague but I think the dialogue ran thusly:

doc 1: He's hyperventilating.
nurse 1/intern doc 1: Why?
doc 1: He's in so much pain.

Anyway that's this kind of pain, well not right now since I'm able to write out a blog, but that's the kind of pain this can become. I used to have an absolutely beautiful, divine, sent from heaven pain pill that nipped it in the bud, but I recently ran out and when I went to have it refilled, discovered that it's been taken off the market because of adverse side effects; like what, sweet relief?! There's nothing to take it's place, so the doc gave me a dif pain pill, and since I took it two hours ago and I'm still awake and my stomach still hurts, I'm going to say it's not sent from heaven.

So with that monstrously long disclaimer on why I'm awake, at now 3:04 A.M. I'll move off this old lady ramble of ailments and drugs.

I need a new phone with a higher pixel camera, or, here's a thought, I could keep my actual camera on me at all times. I took this pic many months ago. You can't tell, but there's a fawn outside the window (I wanted to write baby fawn, but that's rather redundant):

This is roughly what it looked like. (I stole this off the internet).

Where I work I frequently see wildlife. I've seen a doe, rabbits (personal fav), chipmunks (another personal fav), turkey, and the fawn. I feel like a Disney character, except I can't sing and these animals run from me rather than help me clean my humble, yet homey, cottage in the forest. But anyway, I stopped my car so I could just bask in its little fawn sweetness. This was a bad idea as that meant stopping here:

I nearly caused a three car pileup; embarrassingly, all three were coworkers.

Coworker 1: I thought your car had broken down.
Me: There was a fawn.
Coworker 2: I almost plowed into the back of coworker 1.
Me: There was a fawn.
Coworker 2 (as Coworker 3 silently looks on): That was a really bad idea.
Me: But there was a fawn. A FAWN!

I later told Jen, who really is a Disney character. She can sing; and once, we visited a sheep farm and while they wouldn't come within a mile of me, they were draped across her lap looking languidly and adoringly up at her.

Me: (fawn story)
Jen: It was alone?
Me (sensing she has made a keen and undesirable observation): Yes. It was just on the edge of the woods.
Jen: That's not good; it shouldn't have been alone. That means something happened to it's mother.
Me: ....oh, that really changes my feelings about this story.

Months and months later, while carpooling with Rachel, we were recounting all the animals we've seen driving up to the building. The fawn story came up and she said, "Oh yea, I saw that fawn too. I called animal control since it was alone." (the good animal control, the kind that takes sweet, abandoned fawns and rehabilitates them, resulting in email chains of little fawns curled up with the center's cat, dog, or rabbit, as the case may be).

So, Jen, I don't believe I ever told you the ending to this story, but it's a happy one...I think...I hope.

I doubt anyone is still reading this; it's WAY too long, but I've tried to throw in pics for today's word-adverse society.

So my tum still hurts, my mind's still roaming, and my death-grip-clenched hand's spasming; I think I'll just stare at the ceiling for a bit, and/or rummage through my drugs and see what other treats I can find.

"Adieu, to you and you and you." (My fav movie)

Well, except for this one:

And this one:

And this one:

And:

(I hate that they didn't make a sequel. I LOVED the gothic feel to this. It was visual amazing!)

So anyway, Sound of Music is "one of the top thirty [movies] of our time. Anyway, at least." (a nod to, yes, another top fav)


For real, I'm done.

(shoutouts: Google earth; random internet images; copyright infringement; photoshop; Samsung camera phone; wikipedia, which all my copyediting friends will scoff at, with good reason; stong barbiturates, even when they don't quite remove the pain they still make you chatty)

Monday, April 6, 2009

Toby, Wrinkles, and Deer, oh my

Well, it was another delightful weekend. I'm not even sure what to do with myself and all my plesantly spent days. I'm used to being asked, "What did you do this weekend?" and replying, "Nothing really."

I went with Rachel to her parent's house to stay with her younger brother while her parents where out of town. Her cousin Codie, who has featured in earlier post, came as well and we had a merry time of movie watching, sunbathing, snacking, and reading. You can of course read about it all here: Twilight, the Directionally Challenged and Sun Bathing and here: Good Eatin' and the Movies

Toby found a basketball, which is the joy and delight of his life. He can play like this for hours, literally! He won't stop, even when he's exhausted. I have to take the ball away from him or he'll just keep playing until he throws up. That's Miami (Rachel's dog) doing the fly by.





I have reached that age where the sun is no longer my friend, gone are the days when it kissed me, leaving that nice glowy color of health. Instead now it cackles at me, trying to lure me with it's seemingly innocent comfy warmth, all the while leaving sunspots and crepeing up skin that doesn't have the collegen count it once had. I stayed covered with 30 sunscreen, a hat, and as many clothes as possible. I still had a perfectly lovely afternoon reading under all my protection. I'm reading The Sisters Grimm series. They are for kids, but way fun! (leah, rachel, codie)


The pier we reposed on. (codie)


View from the pier.


I got up early on Sunday and was sitting by the window that looked down to the water. Codie had told me the morning before that sometimes you could see deer swimming from the island back up to the shore. I was thinking about how cool that would be when down on the path a little fawn stepped out. Then another one came after it. Followed by several does. I jumped up and sprinted to the bedroom for the camera.


It's a tad too far away to see but I circled the doe.






Low pixel, close up.













Wednesday, April 1, 2009

More Piggy-back Blogging

My very exciting weekend (by Rachel):
LOST
Geiger First United Methodist Church and Riding Horses with New Friends

These are a few of my fav things, all of which took place over the weekend:
1. Spontaneous adventure
2. Land so vast you can get lost in it (seriously, I've always wanted enough land to get lost in)
3. Nature
4. Fried foods

Thanks Rachel!! Life is WAY fun with you!!!

(sidenote: What she didn't relate in her post about breakfast was that I had gotten up early-ish. Her dad and his friend were off turkey hunting and she was still asleep. I assumed they'd have already eaten so I began to rummage for food. There were plenty of very tasty, sugary substances that I would have loved but knew would make me feel awful...then I spied the eggs. There weren't very many of them and I debated and debated. Should I eat them, should I not. What to do?! I thought, "we'll they've probably already eaten so okay, I'll just go ahead and have a few." After about an hour of very merry morning reading and coffee sipping, everyone returned and awoke. Rachel's dad said, "Now we'll have breakfast. Rachel get the eggs." My heart skipped a beat, but they were kind and there were JUST enough eggs to give them a taste. But I think next time I'll go for the Oatmeal Creme Pie!)

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Inner Workings of a Child's Mind

Setting: abode of dear friends of many years Heather, Bill, Kenzie, Molly Kate, and Landon Duncan

Time: few weeks ago

Players: myself and Molly Kate, very newly aged 7

I was passing through the kitchen on my way to the bedroom when Molly Kate asked, "Ms. Leah, did you know about me?"


Did I know about her? I've been friends with her parents for over ten years, and I've been visiting them over the last several years with some regularity, perhaps not as much as we all would like, but still I don't feel myself a stranger at their house. We've been camping together. We've been to museums together. I've been her chaperone to and from the bathroom. I've played Nintendo DS with her and her older sister Kenzie.

Did she mean did I know about her before she was born? Children so often want to know if you knew them when they were still in their mommy's tummy. That blows their minds!

I walked back into the kitchen and confusedly asked, "Did I know about you?"

"Yea," she replied. "Did you know about me? That I've been making eggs since, like, last year."

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

My slacker ways

So clearly I'm a lazy blogger. I didn't expect it to last long. Even this blog is really just a piggy-back blog. It's nice to live with someone who blogs because when they blog they also blog your days and you can just provide a link.

My life can be summed up in a few words: work, cook, work, cook...and waiting for Rachel to speak these melodious words, "Do you want to go to SawGrass today?"

This was my delightful weekend (blogged by Rachel):
Wet SawGrass and Tombstone
Dinner at SawGrass and Big Fish

Funny incident: I am pleased to announce that I successfully put on several saddles this SawGrass visit and none of them headed for the underside of the horse. Before we headed out I heard Codie (Rachel's cousin) say to Rachel, "Can you check my saddle? Leah put it on." Wise girl! :)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Everybody's Doing It

So blogging is everywhere, and while I don't much like writing (its too stressful trying to be witty, brilliant, and good with the words), I feel the need to put out into cyber land the minutiae of my life as well. I can't bare to be left out!

I'm trying to take the equine world by storm. And though I've been taking weekly lessons for over a year now, Sunday showed just how far I still have to go.

I recently moved in with a girl from work, Rachel, and her husband, Jared. It's great to be with fun people again and helpful with the bank balance!

Rachel's parents have this gorgous 2000 acres of land in Tuscaloosa with horses. I've gotten to go out there several times now and it's fabulous! We went this Sunday and took three other people with us. Rachel had me put the saddles, etc. on for two of them (a husband and wife) and then take them out while she got her horse and her cousin's horse ready. It was a bit of a disaster. First, these saddles are totally different from the ones I am used to using. Second, I don't have a clue how to take people out, and, third, its 2000 acres and I'm crazy directionally challenged. So I put their saddles on and said "Rachel you should probably check behind me just for good measure" (she forgot).

We headed out and it was VERY windy so the horses were getting all hyped up, and the guy was a bit uncertain and was pulling on the reigns, which hyped the horse up a bit more, which in turn made his wife's horse skittish. I was on one of the less easy going horses, so I was working hard to keep him relaxed and not join in their hoopla (the only thing I succeeded at).

Their horses kept trying to break into a trot, which can be unsetteling when you haven't actually asked the horse to do it. This produced more pulling and tugging and "whoa-ing". Everyone was dancing around in circles and I kept throwing encouraging tidbits, "Try to relax more." "Loosen up on the reigns." "Relax your butts!" (Horses can feel your anxiety and tension in your derriere). As all this was happening, I noticed the girl's left leg getting farther and farther down the side of her horse and her right leg getting higher and higher. I said, "Is your saddle too lose?" Within seconds she was hanging on to the side! I stopped and tried to help her get down and as she came off, the saddle came with her, still fastened. It slid nearly underneath the horse...It was a fiasco! I couldn't figure out how to unbuckle it because it was at such a crazy angle I couldn't get the clasp to come undone. I finally just undid the other side and it fell to the ground. As I was resaddeling, the horse decided to step on my foot and stay on it, and I had to put all my weight on him to shove him off.

Once we finally got everyone back on I was like "let's just go back to the house and wait for Rachel." On our way the guy's horse got to dancing and turning again and I looked back just in time to see him come off (not fall) and get into a tug of war with the horse on the ground. All I could think was "please God don't let him rear and pummel the guy to death, just let us get back to the house." We did. Rachel fixed everyone's saddles and we went back out and I think a good time was had by all. But the moral of the story is I DO NOT need to be in charge of ANY horse riding expeditions!

The happy part of the ride!